50 reasons it's great to be a tourist

Or 50 reasons to stop hating and start traveling

By Duncan Forgan 

If you hate them, you need to join them.

With their worldly sophistication, cheap fisherman pants and penchant for being smiley all the time, tourists are a much-hated group.

But before you laugh too hard at the lost look in their eyes, or mock too much the clattering chaos of their attempts to board the roof of a minibus with five bags and three cameras swinging from their torsos, understand this: they don’t care.

They’re having the time of their life. And we all know why. Being a tourist is awesome.

Let us know why being a tourist works for you. Comment below.

Color clash -- the uniform of tourists everywhere.1: You get to go on and on and on about how amazing India/Paraguay/France is without actually having to live there.

2: You can eat like a feudal lord every night, and still lose weight from all the walking.

3: Whether you’re terrifying yourself on local transport or basting yourself in the sun next to a bag of beer, it beats what your friends are doing back home.

4: Freedom from the tyranny of socks.

5: The guilt attached to not utilizing your gym subscription is way less severe than it is back home.

6: You can ensure you return home looking svelte and lean by seeking out the town’s dirtiest street vendor on the penultimate night of the trip. 

7: Visiting a foreign country is way more stimulating than staying at home all year. And if you don’t like it, you can at least sound exotic when you moan about it.

8: Cold beers on the beach/in a hammock/in bed/in a bar/on a road trip in the middle of the afternoon? Don’t mind if I do.

9: Breakfast buffets. Fresh fruit and muesli then hash browns and sausages then perhaps some blue cheese and ham. It doesn't make sense, but so what? You’re on holiday.

10: If you don’t like someone, you never have to speak to him/her again -- unlike the person who sits next to you at work.

Next stop Pisa, to "lean" against the tower.11: Bringing home a tan and worldly knowledge is like dousing yourself in pheromones. Just be sure to cover up with mosquito spray, to avoid unsightly welts.

12: No matter how linguistically challenged you are, the words “beer,” “toilet” and “hotel” work nearly everywhere.

13: Getting drunk excused under the guise of “testing the merits of local brews over homogenous imports.”

14: It’s easy, in fact it’s imperative, to flick the off switch on the depressing news and awful TV shows that otherwise fill your life.

15: If you’ve got any sense, your destination of choice will be significantly cheaper than your own country.

16: If you look as if you’re going to spend some money, even locals who don’t like tourists will pretend they do.

17: You can finally finish that book you’ve been falling asleep with every night for the last three months.

18: You can bolster your social networking cred by Facebook-friending lots of exotic foreigners.

19: The weather. Even the rain seems somehow exotic when abroad.

20: The buzz you get walking around a new place knowing you're not at work is one of life’s greatest highs.

Postcard home: "How's work? Wish you were here. Snigger."21: You can get a foot massage every day without anyone thinking you’re a fetishist. 

22: You can finally wear those expensive sunglasses without fear of looking like a poser.

23: In fact, you can wear anything. Baggy Thai pants with a singlet? Go on, no one will bat an eyelid.

24: You can indulge passive-aggressive tendencies by posting lots of pictures on Facebook of yourself paragliding or surrounded by Hawaiian dancers or [insert jealousy-inducing image here].

25: You learn about the country you're visiting through experience, rather than National Geographic.

26: Stories about eating still-beating snake hearts and downing tequila straight from the bottle are pretty rock ‘n’ roll.

27: You finally get to use those foreign phrases you learned in junior school, like “Voulez vous couchez avec moi, s’il vous plaît?”

28: There’s a good chance you’ll be allowed to smoke cigarettes indoors.

29: Happy hour is actually worthwhile -- half-price drinks starting just before sunset and extending for at least two hours.

30: An afternoon siesta is not just acceptable, it's a necessity.

How many tourists does it take to take a photo?31: You get to try local specialities previously only seen on TV: balut (Philippines), fried monkey toes (Indonesia), tete de veau (calf’s head, France) and roasted ants (Columbia).

32. Those childish antics people get up to in pictures -- fingertips on the top of the Eiffel Tower, posing with fake gladiators at the Coliseum -- yep, you get to do them too now. Cool.

33: The lack of decent television channels in your mother tongue means you’ll have no choice but to go out and enjoy life.

34: Taking part in a drunken karaoke session becomes an appealing prospect.

35:  The nearest you get to cooking is pointing at the fish you want grilled for your dinner.

36: You can slob out safe in the knowledge that someone else is getting paid to make everything spotless for you again the next day.

37: The local eye candy is exotic and different.

38: You get to mingle with a range of nationalities. Then escape them the next day.

39: Your sense of appreciation for your surroundings returns.

40: You get to buy silly hats, small plastic mementos and other ridiculous trinkets without guilt, because they were designed specifically for you.

Planes, trains and inner tubes: life of a true traveler.41: With minimal effort -- such as sending a postcard -- you make your friends and relatives think you really care.

42: You can feign incomprehension when a suspicious taxi driver tries to convince you that a 10-minute journey really does cost US$75.

43: Those 1980s iPod playlists you compiled especially for the trip go down particularly well with others.

44: You get to mock other tourists who say things like, “By discovering the world, I am actually discovering myself.”

45: If you travel long enough, you get to say things like, “By discovering the world, I am actually discovering myself.” 

46: Write something nice about a bar on TripAdvisor on your first night and you might never have to buy a drink for the rest of your stay.

47: Tanned fat looks better than pale fat.

48: You get to wantonly fritter away money with the sudden knowledge that experiences are so much more valuable than things.

49: Whether it’s sniffing out a great sunset spot or a backstreet bar or restaurant, there are always new discoveries on the horizon.

50: You can finally jettison your mobile phone and laptop without stress. Phileas Fogg wasn’t online for hours at a stretch every day and neither should you be.

Dr. Jose Rizal—the first Filipino TNT in America?

By Rodel Rodis

If U.S. immigration authorities were as strict in 1888, when Dr. Jose Rizal visited the US as a tourist, as they are now, the Philippine national hero—whose 150th birth anniversary we celebrate this week—could have faced deportation for an immigration violation.

When Dr. Rizal reached the port of San Francisco on April 28, 1888, after a 15 day journey from Yokohama on board the Belgic, he was placed in quarantine for six days, along with all the Asians on board, while Caucasians were allowed to freely disembark. This experience with racism had a profound impact on Rizal as he later described in a letter to Mariano Ponce in July of 1888:

“They placed us under quarantine, in spite of the clearance given by the American Consul, of not having had a single case of illness aboard, and of the telegram of the governor of Hong Kong declaring that port free from epidemic. We were quarantined because there were on board 800 Chinese and, as elections were being held in San Francisco, the government wanted to boast that it was taking strict measures against the Chinese to win votes and the people’s sympathy. We were informed of the quarantine verbally, without specific duration. However, on the same day of our arrival, they unloaded 700 bales of silk without fumigating them; the ship’s doctor went ashore; many customs employees and an American doctor from the hospital for cholera victims came on board.”

Rizal would not likely be a victim of racial profiling now as San Francisco and Oakland both have Chinese American mayors (Ed Lee and Jean Quan) while next door neighbor Daly City even has a Filipino American mayor (Mike Guingona). But Rizal might have been detained for a violation that could have made him the first Filipino TNT (slang for “illegal alien”) in America—he entered the US under an assumed name.

When Rizal was born on June 19, 1861 in Calamba, Laguna, his birth certificate showed his name as “Jose Protacio Mercado y Realonda”, the son of Francisco Mercado y Alejandro and Teodora Realonda y Quintos. That was the name he used until he enrolled at the Ateneo de Manila in 1872.

In 1872, the Spanish authorities cracked down on the secularization movement of native priests who were insisting on the right to preferential assignment in parishes over that of newly arrived Spanish friars. The leaders of this movement led by Fr. Jose Burgos were rounded up and executed by garrote. Rizal’s older brother, Paciano Mercado, was an associate of Fr. Burgos, and was also being hunted down. Fearing that family surname association with him would prevent Rizal from being accepted at the prestigious Ateneo, Paciano obtained a false birth certificate that allowed Jose Mercado y Realonda to enroll at the Ateneo as “Jose Protacio Rizal”.

“Rizal” was picked because it was the name (originally “Ricial” for “greenfields”), which his father adopted at one point until confusion in business transactions compelled him to return back to “Mercado” (Spanish for “market”), the surname his great grandfather, Domingo Lam Co, originally used after immigrating to the Philippines from Jinjiang, Quanzhou in the mid-17th century.

Changing surnames was not easy for the young Rizal who complained in a letter to a friend that the use of this assumed name was “giving me the appearance of an illegitimate child!” Ironically, after Rizal acquired notoriety as the author of Noli Mi Tangere (Touch Me Not) and El Filibusterismo (The Subversive), the entire Mercado family defiantly changed their surname to Rizal in 1891.

Despite entering the U.S. under an assumed name in 1888, Rizal had no problems with the authorities in the 10 days he spent traveling from San Francisco to New York City by transcontinental railroad. Along the way, Rizal passed through Sacramento, Reno, Ogden, Denver, Farmington, Salt Lake City, Provo, before going through Nebraska to Chicago on the way to Albany, New York, and then traveling along the bank of the Hudson River to Manhattan.

“I visited the largest cities of America with their big buildings, electric lights, and magnificent conceptions,” Rizal wrote Ponce in 1888. “Undoubtedly America is a great country, but it still has many defects. There is no real civil liberty. In some states, the Negro cannot marry a white woman, nor a Negress a white man. Because of their hatred for the Chinese, other Asiatics, like the Japanese, being confused with them, are likewise disliked by the ignorant Americans. The Customs are excessively strict. However, as they say rightly, America offers a home too for the poor who like to work.”

Little did Rizal know that less than just two decades later, from 1906 to 1925, more than 125,000 Filipinos would be brought to the US to work in the farm fields of Hawaii and California.

Rizal may have had a premonition of this future because two years after his US visit, Rizal wrote “The Philippines: A Century Hence” where he explained why none of the European powers as well as a China and Japan would be interested in colonizing the Philippines once Filipinos declared their independence. The only possible foreign power who may be interested in acquiring the Philippines? “Perhaps the great American Republic, whose interests lie in the Pacific,… may some day dream of foreign possession.”

In the course of his storied life, Rizal traveled the length and breadth of the United States, Europe and Asia but the Philippines always remained in his heart. As he reflected in a letter to Fray Pastells in 1895, “It is very possible that that there are causes better than those I have embraced, but my cause is good and that is enough for me. Other causes will undoubtedly bring more profit, more renown, more honors, more glories, but the bamboo, in growing on this soil, comes to sustain nipa huts and not the heavy weights of European edifices.”

Happy 150th birthday, Jose Protacio Mercado y Realonda, alias “Dr. Jose Rizal”.

(Send comments to Rodel50@aol.com or mail them to the Law Offices of Rodel Rodis at 2429 Ocean Avenue, San Francisco, CA 94127 or call 415.334.7800).

Tourist Privilege Card

By Ruby de Vera
Philippine Daily Inquirer


TOURISM is a major industry in the Philippines. With our beautiful white sand beaches, old churches, and hospitality we are famous for around the world, the influx of tourists has steadily increased over the years.

They say there are almost as many malls as there are islands in this country, and the malls have become attractions themselves. The SM Mall of Asia has become such. Touted as the largest mall in the Philippines, it boasts of a unique malling experience. Because of its location, the mall is an ideal tourist destination, making it a one-stop shop for all things tourist.

From quality Filipino products and services to foreign exchange counters, not to mention countless restaurants serving Filipino cuisine, tourists are treated to our famed culture and hospitality. SM Mall of Asia’s proximity to a number of hotels makes it a short ride away for shopping, not only for homegrown products, but for a lot of international brands as well. With this in mind, Mall of Asia has introduced the Tourist Privilege Card, an exclusive benefit card for foreign visitors.

Cardholders can avail of amazing discounts, rewards and freebies at participating establishments at the mall, which includes hundreds of retail outlets, restaurants and entertainment and leisure options. They get to grab VIP seats at the Cinema and iMax, straight discounts and free food items and a round of drinks at selected restaurants, more discounts and free items from retail shops and a lot more.

Cardholders also get to experience the package pick-up service so they don’t have to carry their purchases around; they can arrange to have them delivered to their hotel so they can continue shopping or just hang out at the mall. There is also a tram service shuttle that is available to take them around Manila’s hottest tourist destinations.

The unique bayside mall is not only about the generic malling experience –,its sprawling grounds are also hosts to a number of hip, hot and timely events: From art and photo exhibits, musical performances, sold-out concerts and other themed activities, it will surely make for a great, fun-filled visit at the country’s lifestyle hub.

To avail of the Tourist Privilege Card, simply present your foreign passport at any of the Concierge Stations, where the accommodating staff will be happy to help you. For more information about the Tourist Privilege card, you may call 556-0680 or log on to http://www.smmallofasia.com.